The Sax Man

Homecoming Parade, 2007 - the sax man marches. I like this picture. He's concentrating, focused on the drill and the music, blocking out everything else. I love watching him when he's like this.

The music is a living, breathing thing inside him; the beat of the drums, the other instruments, nothing outside the bands registers on his radar screen.

Indigo Girls, Baby Dykes, and Hundreds of Lesbians

OK, first the obvious....



That better work. I'm going to be really upset if it doesn't. I brought my camera but was told by the door bouncer that they weren't allowed. I returned mine to my car, went into Cain's, only to find LOTS of people with cameras! GGGRRRR!!!!! Show was about to start though, so there was no time to go get mine.

The show was amazing, magical, healing, wonderful, there are not enough good words to describe it. I have loved IG's music for what seems like forever. So did my ex. Too much of it was tied to my relationship with her and, as with many things I loved, I put it away. Too painful, too many reminders. Thursday night that came to an end.

I walked into Cain's with my daughter, who also loves their music, and her friend from school. Said friend is a baby dyke, all of 16 years old, and a really sweet kid. She was SOOOO excited to be getting to go hang out with all the lesbians. Too cute. Truth be told, I was excited for that reason too! *grin*

IG's opener is a band called Three5Human. I checked out their MySpace page beforehand and really wasn't expecting to enjoy that part of the show. I was seriously mistaken. They are kickass music makers! Trina Meade has a voice of molten lava mixed in whiskey. Great opening act.

I spent the time before IG came on in the side bar, leaving my daughter and her friend to spend time with a couple of their friends. I got a beer, sat down at a table by myself, and two minutes later this woman came over and said, "Can we borrow your extra chairs? Wait. Can we borrow you and your table too?" *smile* I joined them and spent the next 45 minutes talking and getting to know the 7 of them. Fun, fun, fun. All in their late 30s to late 40s, varied backgrounds, wonderful women. We traded names and phone numbers before the IG started their portion of the show, and vowed to meet again to get to know each other more. Yay!

Then the best part. I headed back out to the main ballroom for the IG set. Katie and her friend had a place staked out all of two people from the stage. OMG! I was two people from Amy and Emily! The music was amazing, the women....hundreds of women....from all over the area. Damn! Why did I not know that Tulsa had this many lesbians????

I laughed, I cried, I danced, I sang til I was hoarse, I had a rock my world good time!

That woman up there on the top of the page dancing? She is definitely me (albeit still a lot skinnier than I am! LOL)

Oh yeah, and my blog is no longer private. Fuck her. I'm tired of hiding.

One day and counting

Damn, I need this break. The last two weeks have been frikkin INSANE! Email's backed up, chores undone, house looks like a tornado struck it, and I'm living in my car. 77 hours last week at work, 69 the week before, and in between I run the kids to various school and activities.

BUT! Tomorrow night is just for me and damn, I cannot wait!

Closer To Fine - Indigo Girls
words and music Emily Saliers

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
maybe give me insight between black and white
and the best thing you've ever done for me
is to help me take my life less seriously
it's only life after all
yeah

well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
and lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
and the less I seek my source for some definitive
(the less I seek my source)
the closer I am to fine
the closer I am to fine

and I went to see the doctor of philosophy
with a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
he never did marry or see a b-grade movie
he graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
got my paper and I was free

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
the less I seek my source for some definitive
(the less I seek my source)
the closer I am to fine
the closer I am to fine

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
to seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
and I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
and I went in seeking clarity.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
yeah we go to the doctor, we go to the mountains
we look to the children, we drink from the fountains
yeah we go to the bible, we go through the workout
we read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
the less I seek my source for some definitive
(the less I seek my source)
the closer I am to fine
the closer I am to fine
the closer I am to fine

and this one....

Language or The Kiss - Indigo Girls

I dont know if it was real or in a dream
Lately waking up Im not sure where Ive been
There was a table set for six and five were there
I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair
And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
Laughter like a language I once spoke with ease
But Im made mute by the virtue of decision
And I choose most of your life goes on without me
Oh the fear Ive known
That I might reap the praise of strangers
And end up on my own
All Ive sown was a song but maybe I was wrong

I said to you the one gift which Id adore
The package of the next 10 years unfolding
But you told me if I had my way Id be bored
Right then I knew I loved you best born of your scolding
When we last talked we were lying on our backs
Looking at the sky through the ceiling
I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway
Trying to read the greek upon the stars
The alphabet of feeling
Oh I knew back then
It was a calling that said if joy then pain
The sound of the voice these years later
Is still the same

I am alone in a hotel room tonight
I squeeze the sky out but theres not a star appears
Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
And Im working through the grammar of my fears
Oh mercy what I wont give
To have the things that mean the most
Not to mean the things I miss
Unforgiving the choice still is
The language or the kiss


Tomorrow night, Cain's Ballroom in downtown Tulsa....I am so THERE!

All things come to those who wait

My birthday was a few weeks ago. I thought long and hard about what I wanted. There was quite a bit in the bank for a change, courtesy of refinancing the 2nd mortgage and paying off the car, along with the leftover bills from Katie's tumble down the stairs last summer. I'd done a number of sensible things.

I replaced all the windows in the house, had insulation blown into the attic. I sheetrocked the room I've been slowly working on. It still needs mudding and taping, paint and flooring, but it's getting there. I'd gotten clothes for the kids and taken them to the dentist. Still, there was really nothing in particular for me. Oh wait, that's not true. I got new glasses. *wry smile* Hey, I needed them badly.

There was one thing I wanted, but I couldn't make myself go for it. I've long wanted an mp3 player. Music has always lifted my soul, made me want to dance and sing, especially when no one's looking. LOL But I couldn't rationalize spending the 60 bucks for the one I wanted. Nope, couldn't do it.

I'd mentioned it at work to a friend a few days ago. She smiled. She knows how much I love music. Today she came to work and left a bag on my desk. Yep. An mp3 player. She said she'd gotten 2 as gifts and couldn't return this one because she didn't know where it had been purchased. I insisted on paying her for it. She wouldn't take more than $25 for it. I've spent the last 5 hours downloading music.

Queen, Billy Joel, Van Morrison, Trans Siberian Orchestra, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Indigo Girls, Cathy Ryan, etc., etc. It's 1G of space. You can fit a lot of music in 1 gig.

I am going to sleep to the sound of music I love through those two little earbuds. Just me and my very large teddy bear. Hey. A girl's gotta have something to hold onto these nights when she's alone.

'Surfin USA'

I'm sitting here typing, listening to Andy play. That shiny new saxophone arrived 2 hours ago. He unpacked it, took out all the pad protectors, popped the new reed in, and took it out for a spin. He hasn't stopped since. Bethoven's 5th, Tchaikovsky's No. 5, The Beatles, Jan and Dean, The Beach Boys, John Coltrane, Kenny G, and on and on. Some of them he mangles badly, some of them he plays decently, and a few of them he totally rocks.

Oh my. That's all. Just oh my. My heart is so filled up inside. He is grinning from ear to ear, in between songs. I keep telling him he's going to get a lip blister. He just smiles and says he doesn't care.

Oh my. Good feelings abound. I think his favorite is Surfin USA. It was the song he loved the most at the end of year concert last year. It was the song he loved the most at the All City Jazz Band Concert. He just loves playing it.

I am giggling, I am so happy.

Andy's Dream

That amazingly loud "WWWWWOOOOOHHHOOOOOO!!!!!" that y'all heard a couple of hours ago? That was Andy. It would seem I am a successful E-Bayer.

This is ready for shipping to our house......



This is Andy's dream......



It should be here in time for band camp, which starts on August 2nd. He goes into high school in September. At the end of last year they held auditions. He made Concert Band, Marching Band, and Jazz Band.

Andy's dream. I can't wait to see his face when he opens it. I can't wait to hear him play it.

Today was a good day for more reasons than I can count. The good feelings far outweigh the fear today. It's about time.

A church I liked. A lady I'm drawn to. A dream for my son.

Time for sleeping, I think.